Staying Sexually Active in a Long Distance Relationship: A Sex Therapist’s Guide

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In 2023, with high speed internet and pretty good quality video calling, communication is no longer the main obstacle for lovers separated by distance. The biggest and the scariest challenge is keeping up sexual intimacy across kilometres.

In romantic relationships, physical touch and sexual aspects play a very important role in building connection, trust and intimacy between two people. Without natural physical connections through hugs, holding hands, kisses, and sex, it is very common for people in long distance relationships to start feeling sexually frustrated. Without casual physical contact, or sexual contact, it is very easy to get caught up in your own lives.

Even if you are constantly on video calls with each, or text each other all day, after a few weeks, it becomes very easy and convenient not to put in the effort to build a strong sexual relationship, and to just take care of your sexual needs by yourself. This not only deprives you from meeting each other’s needs, but also makes it difficult to engage in a deeper level of relationship, as that level of intimacy is just not established.

Lack of intimacy is one of the major reasons long distance relationships do not work out. Without an active sex life which involves each other, eventually your partner will just become a person on your screen you like to talk to.

Maintaining an active sexual relationship consists of two major aspects: the physical connection, and the mental relationship.

Long gone are the days when forlorn lovers had to wait weeks for a raunchy letter from their beloved. In fact, in 2023 even phone sex and sexting is retro. Today’s technology is all about getting as close to a physical relationship as possible. The foundation of building an active sexual relationship when physical proximity is not an option, is to be active in including your partner in your sexual pleasure. This can mean a variety of different things, such as calling your partner when you are in the mood and initiating sex just like in real life.

It could also mean playing sexual games, or even investing in an app based sex toy. Love Depot’s couples’ sex toys like the Dua V2 Dual Massager or the Love Triangle Air Pulse Simulator are all vibrators that can be operated through an app installed. The best part about these sex toys are that it goes one step beyond a remote controlled one, and allows a couple to have an active sex life, even if they are separated by continents. Put them on when you both are in the mood, and allow you partner to fulfil your sexual needs. If you are kinky, put them on and go about your day, and let your partner control it randomly through out the day.

Beyond physical stimulation, one thing long distance couples tend to over look is the mental connection that is required to have an active sex life. Without the trust and intimacy that is traditionally built by physical touch, talking about your sexuality, preferences, and pleasure is necessary to establish that emotional understanding of each other. In a romantic relationship, intimacy is the primary goal, meeting your partners needs is only possible by getting to know them at a personal level. Activities like, sharing NSFW movies that you like with each other, trying out new kinks together, or even just talking each other through masturbation is important in building these deeper connections.

Long distance relationships are getting more common than ever. Modern technology has made overcoming the traditional challenges of distance much easier. However, prioritising an active sex life that not only is physically stimulating, but mentally engaging is essential for a satisfying and sustainable long distance relationship.